Dnt_Be_Surprised

US Congressman Weiner admits to sending women pictures of his ......... online.

Shocking.

No, not another philandering politician but a man named Weiner showing off his ...........

Dude practically has a porn name.

"Anthony Weiner playing the part of The Pizza Delivery Guy, Tony Weiner."

Lets be real here, the WHOLE House of Representatives sound like a cast of a porno.

Listen up:

Speaker of the House, John Boner (Boehner).

Democratic Leader, Nancy Peloosey (Pelosi).

Majority Leader, Eric..... well, I can't think of one that rhymes with "Cantor" and without knowing the name of the street he grew up on its next to impossible to think of an alternative porn name.

Regardless, you see my point.

Capital Hill is basically a VIVID Entertainment production.

Only thing missing is a cameo from Ron Jeremy and Ice La Fox.

Besides, Weiner is a Democrat.

Behavior like that is practically a party requirement.

(I.E. Jeff Wood, "Going In" Gordon Hintz, Dick Cheney and so on and so forth)

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Dnt_Get_Addicted

One of my friends just called me and told me he has an addiction.

I wont mention any names (Chris Mathis) but let me say its definitely NOT Chris..

And its as bad as crack.

So me being the friend that I am, I tried to have an intervention..

First, I listened attentively as Chris he confessed the addiction.

Then I asked Chris him questions to better understand Chris' his addiction.

Like

"Are you effing serious?"

"Please tell me you're kidding."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Why?"

"What happens if you don't do it for awhile?"

"What do you get out of it?"

"Do you sit in your boxers, eating cheetos while you're doing it?"

Because I'm passionate about other people's struggles and all.

I also tried pointing out the seriousness of the matter.

"You know that's seriously sad, right?"

"How do you think this effects your family?"

"You NEED help!"

"You're pathetic."

Because I care when a friend is hurting and/or misguided.

I even tried making fun of the addiction.

"Yeah, I used to do something similar....... when I was a kid."

"I can't believe it, you know you have lost ALL your cool points, right?"

Sadly, it didn't take.

Just like most addicts, Chris he needs his fix.

Chris he can't stop.

Its like crack.

Chris he is a crack hoe.

Except in Chris' his case, he's an Bieber hoe.

Yup. He's a Biebler or whatever they call themselves.

He has the blu ray.

Streams all of Justin's performances.

Never misses an appearance.

Truly sad.

But it does make me feel better about myself tho.